Ways To Support Yourself While Grieving Pet Loss
Erin McCann 0:00
In honor of World Pet Memorial Day, I wanted to share some ways to support yourself while grieving the loss of your pet. Research shows losing a pets can be just as if not more difficult than losing a person. While there are several complexities to why grieving the loss of a pet is so challenging. One significant factor is that it can feel less socially acceptable to grieve pets openly, because many people don't fully understand or appreciate this grief experience. As a result, taking care of yourself is essential. For me, grieving the loss of animals has been among the most painful experiences of my life. Here's some ways to support yourself during your grieving process based on my experiences.
1. Protect the time and take the time you need to grieve. While schedules can take some effort to navigate, explore if you can take time off. Schedule windows of available time to allow yourself to grieve and recognize that grieving doesn't often fit neatly into a schedule. Plan for how you'll manage your grief if and when it arises unexpectedly. For instance, how you can take a break during the day to meditate, take a walk in nature, or remind yourself when you'll have time to grieve later in the day.
2. Reflect on and mindfully choose who you share your grieving experience with — especially early in your grieving process. I don't recommend avoiding grieving, and I don't recommend not discussing what you're going through, but be intentional about who you share with to reduce reactions from people who may not fully understand or appreciate what you're going through. Recognize that even when you mindfully share your experience, and even when others have the best of intentions, you may not like how others respond. Plan for this, have a polite response prepared to change the subject, and remember that we can't control what others say or do — we can only control ourselves and our responses.
3. Recognize that some of the technology apps or companies you have engaged with to care for your pet may not recognize that your animal has passed. For instance, calendar reminders, auto subscribe orders, tracking apps or other technologies sharing alerts or reminders about your pet can lead to unintended painful triggers, especially at times when you aren't planning to grieve. Plan for this and consider turning off alerts or scheduling time to check alerts, apps and inboxes especially early in your grieving process. When ready, begin canceling recurring orders, removing calendar reminders, clearing your cache and cookies and more to reduce potential unexpected painful triggers from occurring at unintended times. The pain of losing our animals may never entirely go away — but with time, we can find meaning in our memories and channel the pain of our losses into supporting people, animals and the planet.
Erin McCann 2:58
I've included resources in the comments and encourage you to add your thoughts and experiences. For more on navigating pet grief please message me at contact@cplusb.com.
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Resources:
[1] Carr, Sam. Why mourning a pet can be harder than grieving for a person. The Conversation. 7 December 2022. Available at: https://theconversation.com/why-mourning-a-pet-can-be-harder-than-grieving-for-a-person-195514
[2] Englar, Ryane E. Supporting Pet Owners Through Grief: A Veterinarian’s Guide to Loss. 5m Books. 2023. Available at: https://www.amazon.com/Supporting-Owners-Through-Grief-Veterinarians/dp/1789182395